Reacting to what is probably just an ironic, one-man caricature of the “imperialist, white supremacist, capitalist patriarchy” model described by bell hooks, many Americans are beginning to worry that our new president might be taking his performance art a little too far.
“His stage presence is too bombastic to be believable.”
“At first, I was impressed by the sheer ambition of maintaining an installation for four consecutive years,” remarked experimental cellist Derby Zambreno, “but now I’m ready for Trump to break character. His interpretation of intersectionality is all over the place, and it’s starting to get scary.” Brushing pollen off his vest with a handkerchief, Derby continued, “It’s like we’re reading totally different critical analyses of Blood and Guts in High School!”
KATHY ACKER UNDERWHELMED BY LATEST PRODUCTION
With a political campaign reminiscent of riot grrrl’s vitriol, initial reports ensconced the Trump administration comfortably within the ideology of third-wave feminism. However, as legislative focus shifts toward issues of birth control and safe access to reproductive healthcare, it seems that the fledgling cabinet may be more accurately described as a second-wave feminist operation. The recent addition of voting rights participant Jeff Sessions to the White House staff, though, has analysts wondering if we might be dealing with a first-wave feminist presidency, or even a presidency that embraces no feminist ethos we have seen before.
It remains uncertain how a sitting president can hear JD Samson sing the refrain “I’ve got post-binary gender chores” on Le Tigre’s 2001 deep cut “Fake French” and sit complacently as states challenge established transgender rights. However, supporters maintain that it would be antithetical to the tenets of Sandy Stone’s “Post-transsexual Manifesto” for the president to use his cisgender privilege to intercede on behalf of a capable minority and that Trump “loves thinking about bathrooms”.
YOUR LYRICS ARE DUMB LIKE A LINOLEUM FLOOR
Evocative of Judith Butler’s “gender performativity” theory, legendary orator and thick-cut steak fry Sean Spicer reminded the country this afternoon that the role of president is one that is acted out rather than one assigned arbitrarily through coincidence of birth, and that Trump – committed thespian that he is – will continue to act out for as long as the American people let him. Addressing members of the press, Spicer elaborated, “Especially on National Ladies’ Book Club Night, the president will hang with all the dudes, but he totally digs chicks, and he is into them – sexually.”
Reached for comment about the sustainability of his vision, Trump responded, “Meryl Streep is a cunt.”